


Blurt

by RahDamon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Possible Reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RahDamon/pseuds/RahDamon
Summary: Accidentally confessing hadn't been in her plans for the day. And the days following felt like Marinette was riding a roller coaster until everything comes to a head.





	1. Chapter 1

“I love you, Adrien.”

 

It slipped out before she noticed. But it shattered the equilibrium of their classroom and there was no Miraculous Cure to fix it.

 

Adrien froze. Nino choked while Alya’s mouth fell open before twisting into a proud smirk. Chloe’s mouth fell open as well before her whole face turned into a dragon’s grimace, an open maw screeching fire and abuse at Marinette. The reactions of the rest of class didn’t even register in Marinette’s mind as her brain caught up with her mouth.

 

 

Her eyes first moved to the ground wondering if it was soft enough to sink into and drown in dirt six feet underground. But the snickers and cat calls in the background, faint as they were, tempted her eyes to move up again. Directly into Adrien’s eyes.

 

And her heart broke. He was obviously frozen in shock and, that look, that look in his eyes. It wasn’t an unkind look by any means. But Marinette could read the confusion, the rejection of her feelings and the uncertainty of how to do so from his eyes. And from the slanted angle of his mouth. And from the way his eyebrows drew together ans well as from the way his nose twitched. She could see him trying to form words but always swallowing them again. And the shambles of her heart ached in phantom agony and pity. And shame, so much shame that she couldn’t stand the awkwardly tense silence any more.

 

Marinette tore out of the school yard and ran home, ran as though she was hissing through the air with her yo-yo. She didn’t stop at her house door, just slammed it open to her parents’ and their customers’ shock. With no apologies she bolted through the bakery and up her room letting what she called her door fall shut.

 

Tikki wriggled her way out of the purse as Marinette pushed her chaise over the door. She also kept on watching as Marinette gathered all the blankets and duvets in her room. Falling back on a childhood habit Marinette formed a cocoon and wriggled her way inside.

 

_One deep breath. Hold it for five seconds and release it. Clear your mind, girl. That’s a good one. This is your safe space. Anything outside of it doesn’t exist. And what doesn’t exist can’t bother you._

 

Her late great-grandmother’s gravelly voice still echoes in Marinette’s head. Originally, these words were meant for mediation and becoming one with oneself.

 

_Balance in your soul is the most important, my dear, and you’re horribly imbalanced. Too much Yang and not enough Yin.Yet I cannot see it changing in the future. Perhaps that means your thread leads you to someone with too much Yin and not enough Yang._

 

Full of great and incomprehensible advice she had been but the techniques she had taught had stayed with Marinette.

 

“Are you alright, Marinette?”

 

A whole tray of double fudge cookies. She owed Tikki that. Tikki could have phased through her cocoon but she hadn’t. The little god had asked rather and respected Marinette’s privacy and need for comfort, lonely comfort. After all, she had blurted out one secret dear to her heart, what would prevent her from revealing the other one?

“Don’t want to think.”

 

“Can I come inside?”

 

“No.”

 

Marinette supposed Tikki must have muttered an okay or any other phrase of confirmation because she stopped try to get in. Closing her eyes Marinette counted again following the words of elders and calming.

 

Confessing (accidentally) wasn’t the end of the world. Being rejected by her first (only) love wasn’t world-shattering. (Her heart pieces begged to differ.) Running away wouldn’t change anything, both the physical and the non-physical kind.

 

Wrapped in her cocoon and robbed of sight, sound and range of movement Marinette calmed down and wished for sleep. Maybe she could trick herself into thinking that accidentally confessing had been an utterly terrifying nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

“Marinette, may I come in?” Tikki’s voice sounded strangely muffled, Marinette noted her eyes still close. Sweating she blinked her eyes open coming face to nose with her cat plush and her blankets building a tiny roof over her head. “May I come in, Marinette?”

 

“Sure, Tikki,” her voice trailed off stocking as she remembered. And then Tikki was there, next to her face and gently petting it her antennas quivering.

 

“Everything’s alright, Marinette.” Tikki repeated that again and again as she stroked Marinette’s face. As though she had the feeling she had to keep her chosen ground. Maybe she did have to. It would be easy to fall apart again and burrow herself deeper in her blankets while wallowing in shame. But she couldn’t do that. “Do you want to call Chat Noir and cancel patrol?”

 

Tempting but not feasible. Even having potentially destroyed her social life didn’t change the fact that Marinette was Ladybug. She had a duty. Protect Paris. Just because she was feeling emotional shouldn’t make her neglect her duties.

 

“Can’t.” Taking a deep breath Marinette allowed herself to wrap her arms around the cat plush toy and to hide her face in it. For a minute she saw nothing but the knowledge she was holding a cat toy … reminded her of another cat that was waiting for her. Sighing Marinette broke free from her cocoon, too early to face the world as far she was concerned.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Marinette smiled. It was a brittle smile, like crooked stitches on a half-finished fashion disaster. And nodded breathing a “Spots on, Tikki” and slipping out of her window into the night.

 

The night air did little to clear her mind or emotions but then again Ladybug hadn’t expected it to. Not when Marinette was left behind in her room, in a cocoon against the world and her memories. That wasn’t strictly true but Ladybug would take what she could to do her duties.

 

Nothing had even happened. Adrien hadn’t rejected her yet, not verbally, at least. He hadn’t rejected Marinette, Ladybug corrected herself almost hitting a lamppost before jerking to the side and missing it. But tomorrow for sure, he would. Or ignore her and avoid her for all eternity. Or worse, hassle her. No, the last option wasn’t an option at all. Adrien wasn’t Chloe.

 

Adrien wouldn’t be intentionally mean about her crush. He’d just be awkward and probably cut away all the tentative bonds of friendship they had between each other. Come to think of it, he wouldn’t be able to avoid her, not when both their best friends were dating each other. Yet he could ignore her.

 

Or maybe he wouldn’t let her crush affect his behaviour. Maybe he’d purposely forgot her unwanted confession and treat her like the acquainted friends they were. Maybe Marinette still could be his friend, at least. That was a way better option than any other.

 

A frown marred Ladybug’s face as she realized that she had ended up thinking about it. Resolutely she starred ahead and moved faster.

 

She saw Chat before he saw her. He was pacing on one of the Eiffel Tower’s steel beams his tail lashing out in sharp and agitated arcs behind him. When she landed on the same beam his ears didn’t twitch and he didn’t turn towards her. Her lips twitched. Ladybug wasn’t the only emotional superhero of Paris, it seemed. Weirdly enough, that caused her to feel better and a fond affection for Chat to rush through her.

 

“I wonder, Chaton, what you’re thinking?”

 

At her voice he flinched and jumped into the air twisting so that he faced her. There was a snarl on his face that combined with his slitted eyes would have surely scared, if not intimidated, everyone else. The stream of affection for Chat decided to burst into a river of affection, though.

 

Seeing her Chat relaxed a bit but Ladybug could see that he was still very tense.

 

“My Lady,” he said voice strained. “A good evening to you.” And promptly resumed pacing, however, his tail wasn’t as agitated as before.

 

(Ladybug had learned over their partnership that Chat was a damn good actor. His voice and stance could fool her 95% of the time and his eyes were always a closed book but the one thing that would betray his mood and thoughts was his tail. In the beginning, he hadn’t been able to control his ears but he had gotten the hang of that by now.)

 

Chat gnawed on his lip before abruptly turning towards her again and stalking nearer until his shoulder touched hers. “You’re a girl, right, My Lady?”

 

“Last I checked, Chaton.”

 

He grimaced at her but she grimaced back, her sassy answer lifting her mood and, blissfully, making her forget. But then he continued.

 

“Why’d a girl confess and then run away?”

 

“Oh? Did you get confessed to? Should I worry?”

 

His tail thumped against the steel beam, a loud noise echoing as metal struck metal. “I’m serious, My Lady. The girl’s my friend but …”

 

“You don’t feel the same,” Ladybug finished for him when he paused ringing for words.

 

“That’s not it,” he whispered his ears folding back as his chin sunk to his bell. “I like her. That’s the problem because I also …” Chat trailed off again giving her a side glance, which spelled out the rest of the sentence to Ladybug. But _he also loved Ladybug_. “It wouldn’t be fair to her. But she also ran away. And I can’t understand _why_.”

 

For a moment Ladybug tasted ash and envy on her tongue. So, she was also losing Chat, in a way. Or she was going to lose him because knowing him he wouldn’t let his mystery girl run away. At least, that’s what the frustration in his voice told her. (He wasn’t trying to fool her right now.) For a moment she wished that she could love Chat like he deserved to be loved and feel that love echo back to her.

 

Yet Chat had asked her for advice. “Maybe she’s embarrassed? Did she confess in private?”

 

His gaze became contemplative and he tilted his head in thought. “Well, she’s kind of shy, sometimes, tho I know she’s bold at other times. And no, she didn’t.”

 

Ladybug snorted. “There you go. Your beau probably felt embarrassed bout confessing to you in public.”

Red dusted on Chat’s cheek as she called his mystery girl ‘his beau’. He hummed in thought one claw reaching up to rub his nape. “So what should I do?”

 

Her heart taped together by polka-dotted cloth and clips almost managed to burst apart again. Here, he was asking her about the best way to lose him although Ladybug knew she was being … silly and emotional. Chat Noir and Ladybug were a team, she couldn’t lose him to a civilian. He wouldn’t even abandon her. Maybe losing Adrien made her fear losing the only other important male her age in her life.

 

“Don’t pressure her but be kind. Show her that you aren’t embarrassed by her and that she doesn’t need to be embarrassed.”

 

He nodded with her points biting his lips. “Can do.” Then he nuzzled into her neck with a wide smile and hugged her close muttering “Thank you” over and over again.

 

Ladybug pushed Chat away before rolling her eyes. “Always,” she said before urging them to start patrol. And when at the end of it he hugged her again beaming and happy Ladybug couldn’t stitch together her heart as it fell apart again.

 

She was being left alone, one by one. When would Alya leave her side she cynically asked herself standing on her balcony still transformed as the night wind played with her hair and hid the sound of wings.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up set the tone of Marinette’s day. After the patrol, she had ended up staring into the night for hours. When she had finally fallen into her bed she had also spent another hour rolling around in it before sleeping in fits. The thing that had awoken Marinette, at last,  had been the softest touch streaking along her cheek.

First thought had been Chat, don’t ask her why. Second, Tikki, to which she had mumbled out a rather weak “Let me sleep.” The touch just had become firmer and streaked up her face in a vaguely searching manner. And then Tikki had spoken her voice shaking and upset and muffled by her blanket. “Marinette … open your eyes … and don’t move.”

Marinette’s eyes had fluttered open to the fluttering wings of a black-purple butterfly. No, not a butterfly, an akuma. That was the situation right now.

She blinked, it fluttered its wings again velvety soft on her skin.

Instead of screaming and screeching Marinette took a deep breath, inched her hand until she had a firm grip on her plush cat and darted up. The akuma lurched up its movements emoting surprise astonishingly well. Before the akuma could do anything else, Marinette smashed it with her cat against her wall, again and again, with a kind of clear calmness that belied the maelstrom of emotions inside.

Only when the akuma was nothing but smears on her wall and cat – she’d have to burn it and get a new one but the wall, urgh, she’d have to tell her parents – did she stop.

“Marinette?” Tikki flew up to her face hesitatingly hovering before it. Marinette tilted her head noticing her sewing kit on the side of her bed. “Are you okay?”

“I should’ve stabbed it with my needles … would have been neater …”

Tikki stared at her with wide eyes her antenna twitching. Opening her mouth and closing it again she tittered through the air speechless. On shaking legs Marinette stumbled out of her bed and down the ladder dragging her ruined cat behind. Without thinking she threw it into the corner of her room.

An akuma. She had been almost possessed, just because she was sorry for herself and not happy enough for Chat. Wait, could she even be akumatized?

“Tikki? Can I get -”

“Yes. My magic would shield any knowledge about me and my connection to you from his mind but you can become an akuma. Don’t.”

Because without Ladybug the akuma couldn’t be cleansed. And her kitty wouldn’t be able to fight her, even without knowing it was her. Taking a deep breath again – Marinette felt like that was the only thing she could do, take huge gulps of her and hope she wouldn’t drown in her thoughts; yet despite consuming gulp after gulp of air she still couldn’t breathe - she forced herself into her morning routine.

The morning passed like a blur then. Her parents’ face, surprised and worried. The tasteless drivel she put into her mouth although she knew her mother’s cooking was anything but tasteless drivel. The colors less vibrant than even a day ago. The air, sticky and full of smog, seemingly. Nothing but a blur, even when staring up her school.

She’d have to face Adrien. And the rest of her class, but mostly Adrien. Oh, and Chloe.

“… On second thought, Tikki could we go back home?” Marinette looked down into Tikki’s eyes through the opening of her purse.

“Marinette!”

Suddenly there were arms around her and she was turned around and pushed into Alya’s bosom. Her yelp was muffled as Alya shook and swung both of them around. As soon as she stopped moving Marinette opened her eyes dizzily and found her cheeks and face cupped in Alya’s hands.

Alya’s eyes were soft and understanding. “Hey girl, how are you?”

Sucking in air Marinette shook her head wordlessly begging. Alya just hummed in response and hooked their arms together marching both of them to their classroom. Then Alya pushed Marinette into her seat absently patting her head.

“I’ll let you off, girl. This one time. Tho, I’m so proud of you. For yesterday and that, for once, you’re early and not late to class.”

Marinette smiled. Only a small one but Alya’s grin was contagious and well, the fact someone was proud of her mistake … It didn’t make it okay but it made her feel better. And then Alya started petting her hair and Marinette had to laugh.

She wasn’t Chat but it did feel good to be touched. Not to mention she was being lulled back to sleep by the comforting motions and the feeling of safety Alya gave her.

(Marinette thought she wasn’t quite right in the head sometimes, feeling safe with the person who wanted to expose her identity. Then again the same could be said for Chat as he had wanted to know for ages but still she felt safe with him.)

Someone was touching her shoulder, soft and gentle. Marinette shot up lashing out and hitting with her whole strength. Only to yelp as she hit herself the hand on her shoulder having been pulled back incredibly fast.

“Ouch, that had to have hurt,” Adrien murmured in front of her. Wait, Adrien?

Opening her eyes she saw Adrien with his hand awkwardly pulled to his chest. He was looking at her with concern in her eyes, lips pulled into a slight frown.

“… Adrien?” Oh god, had he touched her? On her shoulder? And what did she do? Almost hit him in return. She deserved the throbbing pain spreading from her shoulder. At least, it was her feeling that pain and not him.

“Could we talk? In private?”

As she stared at him he shifted from one foot to the other. Her surroundings once again became irrelevant vanishing in her mind.

Marinette didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to be rejected. But he was gazing at her with searching green eyes and emotions she couldn’t decode in them. She didn’t want to talk to him but she was still in his spell.

She nodded, taking a deep breath, gulping in another bout of useless air.


End file.
